Full-time Contracted Procrastination

I haven't blogged in a year, and I doubt anyone is going to have a lesser life experience because of it.

Mostly I'm back because my job is......hit and miss at best when it comes to filling my time, and what's a more exciting pastime than bothering you people with what happens in my fairly sedentary life?

If you've ever seen my instagram or facebook you'll realize that most of my social media is based around my cat, and my other consuming interest - bitching about the weird/gross things that Chinese people do, is not properly represented as a major part of my life (I'm usually driving too fast away from the situation to get a proper picture).

Fear not! This mistake WILL be rectified and I will make an effort to gossip ALL about the eye-roll-worthy things that I see on a daily (hourly) basis. Until I can really get going on those, I'll leave you with today's sighting (a woven bamboo baseball cap with extra-long bill) and a brief update of the exciting happenings of the past year.

Some things that have happened to me in the last year (wins for most original title):
-I developed an obsession with Turkish food
-I handled my first home invasion of cockroaches BY MYSELF (with the assistance of xanax and screaming, and the added bonus of poisoning my silverware in the process of arming myself with Raid)
-Went home for a month at Christmas, realized I forgot to apply for my visa five hours before my flight, and took a three day detour to Houston (about 5 separate trips to the visa office), and changed my flight thrice
-Journeyed to Singapore via Bangkok and in addition to having an amazing time trying new food and attending a music festival, acquired a striped sunburn due to a misplaced cross-body bag

-Translated more than my fair share of Chinglish into semi-understandable English at my new job with a Japanese company that sternly looks down on tangled phone cords
-Ate chinese food once
-Rode a double decker bus, enhanced with kegs, on a Chinese highway and on the Bund because my friends are not as cheap as I am and do cool things for their birthdays

-Had my first ever business trip to Guangzhou, home of my frizzy hair and apparently sickening seafood, if my after-dinner experience was anything to judge by
-Wore an amazing flower headband in a mother-daughter trip to Southern China (thin mints essential)

-Learned approximately 5 spanish curse words and the word for "elbow"
-Survived a disgusting heat wave (highs of 108 degrees) that killed a fat candle in my window

-Got my scooter battery stolen, but not my unlocked scooter, because it is in such awful shape now -mostly due to the several times when I have tried to park and fell over - that no one wanted to steal it
-Tried kale


And the last is the most exciting and intrigue-worthy. What happened to Holly that she is eating vegetables on a regular basis now? Has she abandoned Velveeta? Ignored Doritos? Ostracized double cheeseburgers?!

I leave you with a mystery...