China on Hubris: "Ain't nobody got time for that"

A quick deviance from today's topic - I'm hoping to head my blog into less egocentric waters and concentrate on issues and perceptions in China (don't worry it won't get too heavy, I'm planning to review dog fashions at some point). As weird and confusing as some of my personal experiences are, I'm hoping to tie them more into an understanding of Chinese culture and how expats fit over here in the land of Mao.

I want to open up daily China to the illustrious readers back home (aka friends and family who feel obligated to read my blog) and share the weird little tidbits you never knew about and don't hear on the news - from the dead pig party in Shanghai's river to the typical dishes we endure at a Chinese dinner with colleagues (chicken heads, really?!). Until you step off the plane and look around, you can't discover the many things that Lonely Planet and CNN don't cover - things that are interesting to see and important to think about when trying to get what it’s like halfway around the world.

This experiment is one I hope will be educational and still interesting, though it is in no way guaranteed to go well, so stick with me and we’ll try it out….

On today’s agenda we are examining China’s ostentatious manipulation of educational tools into ethnocentric propaganda. Or in other words….Look. At. That. Map.

China has taken an internationally-accepted idea (the map of the world) and changed it to satisfy the idea of Sinocentrism, or the belief that ancient China was the coolest place ever and way cooler and smarter than the rest of those barbaric places. I’m sure if they could have scooted the map a little over so that they were perfectly centered, they would have done so; after all, who cares if South America is cut in half? In fact, the Chinese name for China “中国”, or Zhongguo (pinyin, I’ll explain that some other time) means Middle Kingdom, or basically, we’re the center of the world, you uncouth savages.

Now technically Sinocentrism was abandoned in the past century or so, and they stopped publicly insisting Chinese culture and ideas were better than everyone else’s BS, but as evidenced by this map, that mindset sort of seems to have carried into today, no?

Way back when, the emperors of China insisted that they were emperors of the world, and any other ruler was technically under them (whether they agreed or not), and any other “sovereign” people were a tribute state (whether they knew it or not). It is said in the late 1800s that they gave that whole deal up, but you still have the Taiwan issue and oh yeah….doesn’t Tibet want out too?

You might have heard, but not read into the details of, a little spat the Chinese are having with the Japanese over this little place called the Diaoyu islands. Basically, it belongs to Japan right now, but it belonged to China at some point a long time ago and well, they still want them, damn it. That’s right….they’re bringing ‘dibs’ up to the international level. In fact, the Chinese were so insistent about this that last year we had some kind of city-wide alarm that went off and I panicked, thinking it was a tornado warning and ran outside to see where the tornado was (I’m from Texas….those aren’t new to me). However it turns out it was a warning system they were testing out for when the Japanese would supposedly invade. This is 2013, people. Not 1940. The paranoia and only-child syndrome got knocked up to a national warning? Someone didn't like to share their toys growing up (Note: I can say this, I AM an only child.)

I feel this map perfectly captures that sentiment that China has to the rest of the world – oh, you think this? Well we think THAT and we’re going to ignore any other ideas to the contrary. Case in point – look at this ACCURATE map of the world. That’s right – it’s the Middle Kingdom….in your FACE.